Next week in Newsweek (Journal #42)

The November 27th issue of Newsweek will have a cover feature on "Growing up with Autism". Again sparking my interest in seeing into the future with Sam. Oh how I wish I could just even fast forward to next year in kindergarten to see how he does! Please check out a review at Autism Vox by my friend Kristina. Just an FYI.

I wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving!

In a Matter of Seconds (Journal #41)

It happened so quickly, and always does. In a matter of seconds, Sam can change the layout of any room. I don't say it out of frustration (although at times it is), I say it out of amazement. Tonight we returned from delivering Zach's wreaths to people who ordered them through his Cub Scouts, to find a message from grandma on the machine.



Sam had started playing with some of Zach's flash cards, just one pack of some math problems at the time. He was having fun looking at the numbers and was sitting at my feet when I called Brent's mom back. Sam was calm, not making noises, playing at my feet.



One of Sam's stim's (as our family calls them) or stimming activities (check out my blog friend Kristina's "friendly" wording and writing about it) is constant motion/movement/lining up of objects. Sam has to keep moving and organizing at all times. The only time he really sits still is when he is really hungry, or watching his latest TV fav which is Mickey Mouse Clubhouse right now. It is a matter of seconds how quickly he can take over a room with his organizing or lining up.



Hence, the few seconds at my feet with a deck of cards, turned our living room into a quilted array of flashcards. I no longer had walked into the kitchen while on the phone, to only get some water, to find this when I returned. Cards lined and organized all over the floor. He was arranging everything meticulously. Chicago, our dog, made the mistake of journeying through the maze and accidently shuffled some cards. Sam had several shrieks and yells to share with her over that little episode. While everything looked just thrown about. He was very carefully placing each card in a specific place, and knew when one was turned slightly wrong in his eyes.



In a matter of seconds things can change. Can change for the better. The past couple/three years would have found us dealing with anguish and screams at the thought of cleaning them up. He would not let us touch his arrangements for days on end, nor would he. They were his "shrines in a glass box" as we called them. But we could never think of cleaning them up. But tonight was different. After allowing Sam to walk around the outside of them several times, to lay on the floor to get a floor view of them, and after he sat beside them for 20 minutes just looking at them. I gently told him that we would clean them up together before bed. He didn't scream yell, or anything. I went into the office, came back out seconds (really a couple minutes) later, and he had sorted all 5 decks accordingly into 5 piles and wanted help to put them back in the boxes!!!! All in a matter of seconds. That's my boy:)



A Twist of Faith...

In a matter of seconds life can change. In a matter of seconds this past week, we had a high school classmate, and a friends brother-in-law die in seperate car accidents. Both young, both had children, one had a baby on the way. Life is a gift from God. What we do with it and how we live it can be taken in seconds. It frustrates me greatly how it always takes times like this to remind people about not waisting the time God gave us. How important our time is here on earth. Why can't people just be focussed all the time on what God wants us to do, and not wait for these dreaded moments to be reminded. We get caught up in our own wants, needs, sadness, desires, dissapointments so much that we forget that this life is not about us. It is about what we do for others, how we help others, how we reach out to others before it's too late, that makes all the difference in this life. Reaching out to help and do for others can change a persons life...in a matter of seconds.



It is God himself who has made us what we are and given us new lives from Christ Jesus; and long ages ago he planned that we should spend these lives in helping others. ~ Ephesians 2:10

Oh Dear! (Journal #40)

I have decided, as a way to reframe some of the challenges that go along with raising a child with Autism, to put our experiences into a frame of faith. That with each "praise or concern" that occur on this journey, that we take a look at it as it relates to the cross in our family life.

So, without further ado, I share with you my first attempt...

...we were driving to Sam's speech therapy session, when the funniest part of my day occured. I was driving in the parking lot of the medical center where he goes. Sam was buckled in the backseat of course. I stopped for a moment to wait for a lady to cross the street to the building. She stood for a moment, and then I gestured to her with my hand for her to cross. But as with any typical "Laura moment", I can never just do something in silence, I also have to speak. So, with all of our windows rolled up tight, I said to the lady as I motioned, "Go ahead dear". Expecting that she would hear me, NOT! But big ears in the backseat did.

Sam immediately yelled at me, "Mom! Dat's not nice!"

"Sam, what's not nice?"

"You tan't tall her dat!" he said with major attitude.

"Sam, call her what?"

"Not deer!" He yelled.

"Who's not dear?" I said.

"You talled her deer."

I finally went, "duh" to myself, realizing that he thought I called the girl a deer, when I said, go ahead dear. I started to smirk. Wanting to push him a little to see if that was for sure.

"Yes Sam, I said to her...go ahead dear, so she would cross the street" intentionally not focussing on the dear portion to see what would come next.

"Mom...you talled her a name, no names, mean mom. See not a deer!" I am so chuckling to myself! I love him so much. I am immediately taken back to one of the first times Brent and I met with our pediatrician, Dr. Kuperman, shortly after Sam was diagnosed. He reminded us that we need to speak without sarcasm, and to say exactly what we mean, without extra words and such. That children with autism interpret things very literally. This was one of those times that I love the "literallnes" (if such a word) of it all. It is so darn cute. Okay, back to my boy....

so I say, "Sam, some people say dear, meaning they like them, like a friend. So it was like I said go ahead friend, cross the street. Or sometimes people say oh dear, like oh my goodness. I didn't say it to be mean."

I looked at his face in the rearview mirror. He was super serious. His eyebrows straight across as he stared out the window. There was a lengthy period of silence. Then he said with one final request. "Don't tall her deer no more, not nice. Miss Telly said no names." Miss Kelly, his special education teacher. Sam is in a LEAP program that is highly focussed in social skills training. Every week they focus on new skills and practice them while playing. Being a kind friend is a focus this month, and according to Sam, I need some practice! Oh Dear!

A Twist of Faith...
In the way Sam views things so simply and literally, makes me almost jealous sometimes. We as humans, can add such complexity to life by analyzing, rethinking, trying to interpret, instead of just seeing things and enjoying them for the way they are. To fill blessed for the simple things in life, for simple understanding, for simple but serious faith. Thank you God for the way you lead Sam in teaching our family. Life is too short to make it complicated.
Take your everyday, ordinary life- your sleeping, eating, going to work, and walking around life- and place it before God as an offering. ~Romans 12:1